The Dorm (#31)

The posts are now in a chronoligical order. I did forget to post one about a typical day part II. I'll squeeze that in at some point, when I am able to type it up. Scott

The Dorm

After I got some stuff from the tithe box, I made my way to the dorm. The stuff I got is relevant is it pertains to some other tips for surviving prison. The single most important possession a prisoner needs is a shower shoes. The unwritten rule adhered to by all inmates is to never take a shower without them. I will not go into detail as to why, but trust me when I say they are essential. I also got a soap dish, deodorant, and a toothbrush holder. I was now supposedly prepared to enter my living arrangement. The dorm is like a college dorm. The main difference is that you do not live in a closed off room. You have a cubicle much like you would have in an office building. Our dorm has about 68 cubicles. Some of these cubicles have three inmates, while others have two. The cubicles are the same size regardless of the number of inmates they hold. New guys are assigned to cubicles with three men that are generally located across from the bathroom or by the tv room. These cubicles are also toward the front of the dorm, near the entrance. The front of the dorm is where the tv rooms, phones, laundry, guard desk, and microwave are located. The point is that these cubicles are close to the noisier parts of the dorm, and the new guys suffer for being new.

As a new person, you are generally ignored. I didn’t understand this at first, but I do now that I have been around. So many people come and go that you can’t keep track of them all. Some guys are here for 30 days, and by the time you figure out their name, they are gone. Some of the longer-term guys won’t talk to new guys unless they have a least a 1 year sentence. It makes sense. It’s a lot of emotional energy to meet the new guys and find that they are going to leave in two weeks. One guy was sentenced to 13 days. This was quite humorous to everyone. He was almost nonexistent. He wouldn’t be assigned to a job, would not have a meeting with a counselor or case manager, and wouldn’t even get a medical exam in that time. My guess is that if he simply walked away no one would have known he was gone.

I arrived on a Friday evening, which is movie night. As I wandered around the dorm, I noticed guys putting their chairs into a tv room. I was about to go inside when a guy stopped me and said, “you can’t go in there. It’s assigned seating. Someone has to loan you their seat.” That was my first introduction to the tv room. I had read before coming to prison that one should never borrow something from another inmate. A few guys did offer to lend me their seats that night. I told them no, following this rule, thinking that if I did take them up on their chairs, I would see them a week later asking me to buy something for them. It turns out that this is sage advice. Of course, there are exceptions.

You learn fairly quickly which guys you can trust and which ones you cannot. Usually your bunkies will lend you some token items to get you through. I borrowed a couple of stamps and a pen from my first bunkies. Of course, if you borrow something, pay it back and give a little extra. I think this is a good rule for life in general, but in prison, it is my unalterable law. This establishes a positive reputation of being a borrower who can be trusted. After all, trust in prison is a valuable commodity. Even if you think you will never need to ask for anything from anyone, you will find a time that you need something and have to borrow it. Borrowing isn’t bad, if you follow the simple rules of knowing from whom you are borrowing and paying back promptly and with a little interest. In fact, that kind of borrowing, like a credit score, actually makes life a little easier and establishes trust.

Of course, if people are borrowing then others are lending. You can get burned pretty easily by lending out things. The rule is don’t lend to people you don’t trust. Of course there are situations where people make requests and you don’t know them very well, but you want to help or make a good impression to establish a trust. I lost a few sodas and candy bars giving them to people and never getting a thing in return. In spite of what you may think, those are somewhat valuable commodities here. But, for about $2.00 (about two days wages) I learned a valuable lesson about who I can trust with bigger things, like my life. That’s a pretty cheap investment even by prison standards. The guys who borrow and don’t repay end up without friends quickly.

There are situations where I give willingly and expecting nothing in return. Usually these situations are to other Christians who need something or an outreach to a struggling new person with whom want to establish some rapport. In those cases, it’s best to just be blunt and say, “Hey, this is a gift. You don’t need to repay me anything. I just want to help out.” So many guys are out to scam you that you have to say this or they will think like I did, that this person will come back and want something later.These are some of the basic rules about interacting with other inmates. I would learn more as I became more immersed in the culture.