I finally got a letter from Jeff about Jeff's family visiting. It took a little while for Jeff to send me this because of the postal rate change, and the prison did not get enough 41 cent stamps.
Anyway, Jeff's family visited a little over a week ago, on Friday May 18th. Here are Jeff's words about the visit and what is going on.
Laura and the boys visited this past Friday (May 18th). I have to say that Friday night and Saturday after were very difficult days, probably the toughest since my first weekend. The visit went well, though. Connor was a little hesitant for the first half hour, but we started playing together after a while. After 2 1/2 hours, Laura's mom came and picked up the boys while Laura and I talked. When they came back to get Laura a few hours later, Connor ran back into the room to see me. I picked him up and hugged him and told him he had to go with mommy. That just broke my heart. The event was not without a positive outcome. I attend a a prayer meeting on Friday nights. I had never shared a request until that Friday after Laura and the kids left. One of the brothers (as we call each other) came over and hugged me while all of the guys prayed. It was a powerful moment for me. I feel I made a significant step in finding hope and encouragement within the church here, which has been a prayer of mine since before I even arrived.
I've been learning a lot about trusting God. The simple truth is that God has me here for a reason. The pastor at the church here gave a sermon about accepting God's will and embracing the purpose He has for me here. If God has a purpose for me, then I need to trust that He will provide for my family in ways I can't imagine. I know many of us feel that God's purpose for our lives is to provide for our families. You may want to ponder that. What if that isn't God's purpose for you? Would you know? Sometimes we may put people in our lives ahead of God We know that money, success, cars, homes, etc can be idols that we worship. Consider that your family may also be something that you put ahead of God. I know I struggle with this. I'm not saying that you should not love and provide for your family; however, you should always look at priorities. Here is easier, but not easy. I have lots of time on my hands. you would think I would spend a lot of time reading the Bible. Well, it's not true. I struggle to prioritize here. How much more so when you have a family, a job, and all the other things in life that desire your time? One thing I did make a priority because my wife asked me to is to spend time talking and listening to these men here. I will talk more about that in the next blog.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Life at Camp (#5)
The most common question I find myself writing the answer to is "What is life like there?" I'm "encamped" at a federal prison camp. Taft is a minimum security prison camp. By minimum I mean it. There are probably 550 prisoners (last count as of 5/24/07 was 589 - VCmoney edit) here and from what I can tell, only 6 guards. From what I can tell, the guards spend most of their time standing around. This is not because they are lazy, but what else are they to do?
The inmates live in 4 dorms. The dorms is like a gym with cement cubicles in each dorm. There is no ceiling to each cubicle. In that respect, it's like a big office with rows of cubicles. However, here there it is perfectly acceptable to yell for someone 10 cubicles away.
Some of the cubicles house 3 people and some only 2. The longer one is here, the better the cubicle assignment. I live in a cube with 2 other guys. We have a bunk bed and another bed on a metal cot. I sleep on the top bunk. The bunk bed people have a fairly spacious locker. The other cot has only two drawers. Clearly the lower bunk on the bunk bed is the best. Usually these go to older men with health issues. There is also a small desk in each cube as well as a few posts on the walls to hang towels and jackets.
The dorm also has a large bathroom with 7 urinals and 7 stalls. The stalls are completely closed as you would find in an office restroom. The showers are also stalls. You probably have more privacy here than you do in most fitness clubs. The bathrooms are typically clean, mainly because the inmates clean them 3 times a day. Nonetheless, everyone wears shower sandals when they take a shower.
The dorm also has 3 television rooms and one multipurpose room. The multipurpose room has 3 televisions also. The multipurpose room also has a table where people play games. The other tv rooms are split for hispanics, african-americans, and whites. I have gone into the hispanic room to watch soccer a lot. So, it's not like you are going to get beat up. There is also a quiet room, and I go there to read and write.
Sleeping is a challenge. People are up all night long. The kitchen crew wakes up at 3 am. People stay up and watch movies. So, in order to sleep, you have to get used to noise. The mattresses leave a lot to be desired. It's a foam mattress with a plastic cover. There are a few cloth mattresses, but they are hard to get.
The food is not horrible. They have a 4 week rotating schedule, but breakfast tends to be repetitive. I don't know how to describe the food. It's a lot like food you would have at a retreat or camp. That have some great vanilla cake, and I'm partial to the coffee cake. So far some of the new foods I've eaten are grapefruit, cantaloupe, honeydew, Lima beans, grits, and 3-bean salad. There are a lot of people who cook in the dorms. The commissary offers a lot of food, oddly , no Dr. Pepper and no cereal - although on occasion the will have cereal - like this week I got Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Some people will eat all of their meals in the dorms. This is very expensive, but it is amazing what people can do with a microwave and some hot water. I don't see much difference between the chow hall and the dorm in terms of taste. I think the dorm is different, which around here means a lot. (Jeff does buy some snacks at the commissary, like cookies and sodas at times for variety - VCmoney addition)
What do I do all day? That is the big question most of the time. The recreation yard is pretty good. They have a softball field, a tennis court, a basketball court, a volleyball court, a horseshoe pit, boccie ball, and a small soccer field. Mingled in are some grassy areas with tables and chairs. There are a number of trees on the rec. yard as well. Around all of this is a 1/3 mile track. It's made of compressed dirt and sand, not a real track that you would find at a college. They also have a racquetball/handball court and several stairmaster and stationary bikes. there is actually a lot of opportunity to exercise. You can check out tennis rackets and some other equipment. You have to buy tennis balls and handballs. I spend my time walking and playing soccer. I'm also in an exercise class, which is probably the hardest thing I've done. I still haven't finished a full session.
There is also an indoor recreation area, but I don't go there much. Inside they have 3 pool tables and a Foosball table. you can check out guitars or play on a drum set as well. They also have a woodworking/leather working room. You have to be here 120 days and then you can apply for access to that. The same is true for the "hobby shop." There is no shop, but you can order specialized hobby supplies when you qualify. This might include special paper, paint, yarn, etc. I'm going to sign up for this when I am here long enough to qualify.
If you are a more studious inmate, they have an education department. They do offer some some classes from Taft CC. They aren't great, but the popular classes are excel and word, probably because you get to work on a computer which is foreign to a prisoner (Federal prisons do not allow computers at the camp, and there certainly is no internet access or email - VCmoney addition). Some inmates teach classes such as the exercise class I take. Some classes are yoga, herbology, horticulture, beekeeping, and truck driving. Herbology appears to be popular. You can also take classes from schools who offer correspondence courses, like the ones I hope to take through Ohio U. Some guys here have multiple masters of theology degrees, but that is expensive.
Also in the education department is a library. The library has 2 sections, the legal library and the regular library. I use the regular library frequently. They get the Wall St. Journal, so I read that daily. I read books from there occasionally. I mainly read books from the chapel library. The chapel library is also part of the education dept. It has it's own small library that serves all religions.
The chapel deserves special mention. In the chapel there is a tithe box run by the non-denominational church I attend (inmates are not allowed to give money to other inmates - VCmoney addition) The tithe box contains essential items that any new prisoner would need. The main things are shower shoes, soap holder, and deodorant (all of which a the inmate must purchase). This was the only good thing I found on my first day (I do not recall if I mentioned this in the blog, or an email, but Jeff's money order took about 2 weeks to arrive, so he had no money to buy these sorts of essentials, not a great way to start out in prison - VCmoney addition). I'm thankful for the things the tithe box provide for me. I have since provided pencils, (I couldn't get a pencil for several days), stamps, socks, and toothbrushes. these were things I would have liked on my first day. They are gone already.
I believe I wrote about the church in my first blog contribution. That's another thing to do. I should comment on the "program." You have heard the phrase, "Get with the program." That is true here. Your case manager and counselor track your "programs." They want to know you are involved. It sounds nice, but if you don't get programmed, you get the bad jobs and bad bed assignments. In order for them to determine if you are getting programmed, you sign a sheet every time you attend something. My exercise class is a program. All of the church services are programs, so I'm getting programmed. Quite frankly, this place reminds me of the movie called the Island with Ewan MacGregor and Scarlet Johansen.
I'll end this blog supplement talking about work. There are numerous work assignments. The good and bad of them depends on who you are and what you want to do here. For example, working in the garden is hard, long work, but there is a waiting list because you get to leave the general compound. The guys who have done this say you don't even know you are in prison. On the other hand, you may have to clean the bathrooms. It's messy work, but only an hour a day.
My work assignment is cleaning and watering a portion of the rec. yard. What I actually do is a bit different. I have 2 rose gardens in my area. So, in the morning I weed one rose garden and pick up trash. In the afternoon, I water about 15 trees, pick up trash and weed the rose garden. It takes about 2-3 hours a day. Most people complain about their job assignments. I don't mind my job. It's hot in the afternoon, but I hang out in the shade of the trees. I water and listen to my radio. It's quite pleasant. I also take pride in the rose gardens. They have been neglected, so it's nice to see them looking cared for. Taking pride in your work is almost non-existent here. Basically, people perform to what they get paid, and since most inmates make 12 cents an hour, there isn't much motivation (A prisoner who does a poor job does not get increased time, and a prisoner who does a good job does not get his time reduced. It's not what Americans are used to with incentives and such - VCmoney addition).
Jeff
I just got a letter from Jeff today with another blog update about his visit with Laura. I will add that this weekend. Scott.
The inmates live in 4 dorms. The dorms is like a gym with cement cubicles in each dorm. There is no ceiling to each cubicle. In that respect, it's like a big office with rows of cubicles. However, here there it is perfectly acceptable to yell for someone 10 cubicles away.
Some of the cubicles house 3 people and some only 2. The longer one is here, the better the cubicle assignment. I live in a cube with 2 other guys. We have a bunk bed and another bed on a metal cot. I sleep on the top bunk. The bunk bed people have a fairly spacious locker. The other cot has only two drawers. Clearly the lower bunk on the bunk bed is the best. Usually these go to older men with health issues. There is also a small desk in each cube as well as a few posts on the walls to hang towels and jackets.
The dorm also has a large bathroom with 7 urinals and 7 stalls. The stalls are completely closed as you would find in an office restroom. The showers are also stalls. You probably have more privacy here than you do in most fitness clubs. The bathrooms are typically clean, mainly because the inmates clean them 3 times a day. Nonetheless, everyone wears shower sandals when they take a shower.
The dorm also has 3 television rooms and one multipurpose room. The multipurpose room has 3 televisions also. The multipurpose room also has a table where people play games. The other tv rooms are split for hispanics, african-americans, and whites. I have gone into the hispanic room to watch soccer a lot. So, it's not like you are going to get beat up. There is also a quiet room, and I go there to read and write.
Sleeping is a challenge. People are up all night long. The kitchen crew wakes up at 3 am. People stay up and watch movies. So, in order to sleep, you have to get used to noise. The mattresses leave a lot to be desired. It's a foam mattress with a plastic cover. There are a few cloth mattresses, but they are hard to get.
The food is not horrible. They have a 4 week rotating schedule, but breakfast tends to be repetitive. I don't know how to describe the food. It's a lot like food you would have at a retreat or camp. That have some great vanilla cake, and I'm partial to the coffee cake. So far some of the new foods I've eaten are grapefruit, cantaloupe, honeydew, Lima beans, grits, and 3-bean salad. There are a lot of people who cook in the dorms. The commissary offers a lot of food, oddly , no Dr. Pepper and no cereal - although on occasion the will have cereal - like this week I got Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Some people will eat all of their meals in the dorms. This is very expensive, but it is amazing what people can do with a microwave and some hot water. I don't see much difference between the chow hall and the dorm in terms of taste. I think the dorm is different, which around here means a lot. (Jeff does buy some snacks at the commissary, like cookies and sodas at times for variety - VCmoney addition)
What do I do all day? That is the big question most of the time. The recreation yard is pretty good. They have a softball field, a tennis court, a basketball court, a volleyball court, a horseshoe pit, boccie ball, and a small soccer field. Mingled in are some grassy areas with tables and chairs. There are a number of trees on the rec. yard as well. Around all of this is a 1/3 mile track. It's made of compressed dirt and sand, not a real track that you would find at a college. They also have a racquetball/handball court and several stairmaster and stationary bikes. there is actually a lot of opportunity to exercise. You can check out tennis rackets and some other equipment. You have to buy tennis balls and handballs. I spend my time walking and playing soccer. I'm also in an exercise class, which is probably the hardest thing I've done. I still haven't finished a full session.
There is also an indoor recreation area, but I don't go there much. Inside they have 3 pool tables and a Foosball table. you can check out guitars or play on a drum set as well. They also have a woodworking/leather working room. You have to be here 120 days and then you can apply for access to that. The same is true for the "hobby shop." There is no shop, but you can order specialized hobby supplies when you qualify. This might include special paper, paint, yarn, etc. I'm going to sign up for this when I am here long enough to qualify.
If you are a more studious inmate, they have an education department. They do offer some some classes from Taft CC. They aren't great, but the popular classes are excel and word, probably because you get to work on a computer which is foreign to a prisoner (Federal prisons do not allow computers at the camp, and there certainly is no internet access or email - VCmoney addition). Some inmates teach classes such as the exercise class I take. Some classes are yoga, herbology, horticulture, beekeeping, and truck driving. Herbology appears to be popular. You can also take classes from schools who offer correspondence courses, like the ones I hope to take through Ohio U. Some guys here have multiple masters of theology degrees, but that is expensive.
Also in the education department is a library. The library has 2 sections, the legal library and the regular library. I use the regular library frequently. They get the Wall St. Journal, so I read that daily. I read books from there occasionally. I mainly read books from the chapel library. The chapel library is also part of the education dept. It has it's own small library that serves all religions.
The chapel deserves special mention. In the chapel there is a tithe box run by the non-denominational church I attend (inmates are not allowed to give money to other inmates - VCmoney addition) The tithe box contains essential items that any new prisoner would need. The main things are shower shoes, soap holder, and deodorant (all of which a the inmate must purchase). This was the only good thing I found on my first day (I do not recall if I mentioned this in the blog, or an email, but Jeff's money order took about 2 weeks to arrive, so he had no money to buy these sorts of essentials, not a great way to start out in prison - VCmoney addition). I'm thankful for the things the tithe box provide for me. I have since provided pencils, (I couldn't get a pencil for several days), stamps, socks, and toothbrushes. these were things I would have liked on my first day. They are gone already.
I believe I wrote about the church in my first blog contribution. That's another thing to do. I should comment on the "program." You have heard the phrase, "Get with the program." That is true here. Your case manager and counselor track your "programs." They want to know you are involved. It sounds nice, but if you don't get programmed, you get the bad jobs and bad bed assignments. In order for them to determine if you are getting programmed, you sign a sheet every time you attend something. My exercise class is a program. All of the church services are programs, so I'm getting programmed. Quite frankly, this place reminds me of the movie called the Island with Ewan MacGregor and Scarlet Johansen.
I'll end this blog supplement talking about work. There are numerous work assignments. The good and bad of them depends on who you are and what you want to do here. For example, working in the garden is hard, long work, but there is a waiting list because you get to leave the general compound. The guys who have done this say you don't even know you are in prison. On the other hand, you may have to clean the bathrooms. It's messy work, but only an hour a day.
My work assignment is cleaning and watering a portion of the rec. yard. What I actually do is a bit different. I have 2 rose gardens in my area. So, in the morning I weed one rose garden and pick up trash. In the afternoon, I water about 15 trees, pick up trash and weed the rose garden. It takes about 2-3 hours a day. Most people complain about their job assignments. I don't mind my job. It's hot in the afternoon, but I hang out in the shade of the trees. I water and listen to my radio. It's quite pleasant. I also take pride in the rose gardens. They have been neglected, so it's nice to see them looking cared for. Taking pride in your work is almost non-existent here. Basically, people perform to what they get paid, and since most inmates make 12 cents an hour, there isn't much motivation (A prisoner who does a poor job does not get increased time, and a prisoner who does a good job does not get his time reduced. It's not what Americans are used to with incentives and such - VCmoney addition).
Jeff
I just got a letter from Jeff today with another blog update about his visit with Laura. I will add that this weekend. Scott.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Some Questions (#4)
I just received a letter from Jeff for the blog with answers to some questions, but I don't have time tonight to transcribe it. So, here are some things Jeff can and cannot have:
Send: letters, pictures, pencil drawings, internet articles, paperback books, hardbound books (only from Amazon or publisher), magazines, comic books (he'd really like some of these).
Do NOT send: stickers, CD's, tapes, stamps, glued crafts, food of any kind, newspapers, or articles clipped from a newspaper (photocopied is okay), gum. This list is not exhaustive, but answers to some specific questions. Several have asked about CD's. You can donate CD's to the Taft chapel, but can't send them to Jeff. Whether he finds such CD's is a different question. You can also donate movies and the like to the prison as well, but don't send that stuff to Jeff.
I'll post more about Jeff's typical day in the next post.
Send: letters, pictures, pencil drawings, internet articles, paperback books, hardbound books (only from Amazon or publisher), magazines, comic books (he'd really like some of these).
Do NOT send: stickers, CD's, tapes, stamps, glued crafts, food of any kind, newspapers, or articles clipped from a newspaper (photocopied is okay), gum. This list is not exhaustive, but answers to some specific questions. Several have asked about CD's. You can donate CD's to the Taft chapel, but can't send them to Jeff. Whether he finds such CD's is a different question. You can also donate movies and the like to the prison as well, but don't send that stuff to Jeff.
I'll post more about Jeff's typical day in the next post.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Family Visit (udpate #3)
I have not received a new update for the blog from Jeff, but I am expecting one very soon. I just want to give some quick answers to those that had some questions.
I sent a paperback book to Jeff that was not from a publisher, but from my house. He received it. That is significant because the federal prison system does not allow that. So, some of you have asked about sending my brother books. It is okay, but I would remind anyone who wants to send Jeff a book that is be paperback and that you write him first to ask about sending it because he has limited space in which to store his personal items. But, I'm sure that the books will be welcome when he has the space to receive them.
Also, I still have no idea if Jeff can listen to CD's. I'm working on that. I'm doubtful, but I will check.
Also, I am working on getting Jeff enrolled in some college courses on marketing from Ohio University. It looks like he will take between 5 and 7 classes, and I am just waiting for him to pick them. He should begin classes by the end of June (it takes 4 weeks for the school to deliver the materials). The total cost appears to be about $4200. This covers the books, shipping, and correspondence writing between Jeff and the professor. If you want to help, I will welcome the gifts. I hate asking for money, but in this case, I just can't cover the expense myself. If you want to help, shoot me an email at scott_wells@hotmail.com
Lastly, Jeff's family is supposed to go for a visit this weekend (probably Friday morning 5/18). This will be significant because it is the first time Jeff's 4 year old son (Connor) will have seen Jeff since he went to the camp over a month ago now. Jeff has repeatedly told me that the weekends are the hardest because there is so much time to kill. When Laura visited two weeks ago, Jeff said it was the easiest weekend by far. Plus, Jeff is excited to see his kids. So, I hope to give an update on this soon.
I sent a paperback book to Jeff that was not from a publisher, but from my house. He received it. That is significant because the federal prison system does not allow that. So, some of you have asked about sending my brother books. It is okay, but I would remind anyone who wants to send Jeff a book that is be paperback and that you write him first to ask about sending it because he has limited space in which to store his personal items. But, I'm sure that the books will be welcome when he has the space to receive them.
Also, I still have no idea if Jeff can listen to CD's. I'm working on that. I'm doubtful, but I will check.
Also, I am working on getting Jeff enrolled in some college courses on marketing from Ohio University. It looks like he will take between 5 and 7 classes, and I am just waiting for him to pick them. He should begin classes by the end of June (it takes 4 weeks for the school to deliver the materials). The total cost appears to be about $4200. This covers the books, shipping, and correspondence writing between Jeff and the professor. If you want to help, I will welcome the gifts. I hate asking for money, but in this case, I just can't cover the expense myself. If you want to help, shoot me an email at scott_wells@hotmail.com
Lastly, Jeff's family is supposed to go for a visit this weekend (probably Friday morning 5/18). This will be significant because it is the first time Jeff's 4 year old son (Connor) will have seen Jeff since he went to the camp over a month ago now. Jeff has repeatedly told me that the weekends are the hardest because there is so much time to kill. When Laura visited two weeks ago, Jeff said it was the easiest weekend by far. Plus, Jeff is excited to see his kids. So, I hope to give an update on this soon.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Update on Jeff
I have talked to both Jeff and Laura recently, and so I wanted to give an update on what Jeff is doing. He hasn't given me an official update for this blog, so these are my words and opinion.
Some of you may already know that Laura was able to visit Jeff on Friday, May 4th. I just got a letter from Jeff, the first he has written and I have received since that visit. He said it made his weekend. Laura said that she was able to sit and talk with Jeff at a table, and there were some gardens around. I'm not saying it was idyllic, as it was still a prison, but much better than Laura had expected. I'm preparing for a visit in July, so I'm thankful that Laura can help prepare me for what to expect. Some of you may know, but Jeff's camp is located behind a medium security level prison, so there are walls with barbed wire and guard towers, etc. around it. Jeff's camp is behind this, and has no walls. So, upon arrival, all one sees is the medium security prison. As both my mom and Laura have now told me, it is a somewhat daunting approach to the camp in which Jeff is located.
Speaking of gardens, Jeff has recently informed me that he takes care of two rose gardens for his job. I'm not sure if he still picks up trash or takes care of the gardens or both. At any rate, he sometimes feels like he is somewhere else when in the tranquility of the garden, which he says is a nice distraction from prison life. I have heard that prison offers some pretty vulgar language, and I was hoping that a camp would be different. Jeff has informed me that I was wrong, so any distraction from that is probably welcome.
Jeff still asks for prayer for a Christian friend. He says is starting to recognize faces, but one guy who reached out to him and whom Jeff liked was recently released. So, Jeff is still looking for a Christian friend. He asks for your continued prayers for that.
Some of you may already know that Laura was able to visit Jeff on Friday, May 4th. I just got a letter from Jeff, the first he has written and I have received since that visit. He said it made his weekend. Laura said that she was able to sit and talk with Jeff at a table, and there were some gardens around. I'm not saying it was idyllic, as it was still a prison, but much better than Laura had expected. I'm preparing for a visit in July, so I'm thankful that Laura can help prepare me for what to expect. Some of you may know, but Jeff's camp is located behind a medium security level prison, so there are walls with barbed wire and guard towers, etc. around it. Jeff's camp is behind this, and has no walls. So, upon arrival, all one sees is the medium security prison. As both my mom and Laura have now told me, it is a somewhat daunting approach to the camp in which Jeff is located.
Speaking of gardens, Jeff has recently informed me that he takes care of two rose gardens for his job. I'm not sure if he still picks up trash or takes care of the gardens or both. At any rate, he sometimes feels like he is somewhere else when in the tranquility of the garden, which he says is a nice distraction from prison life. I have heard that prison offers some pretty vulgar language, and I was hoping that a camp would be different. Jeff has informed me that I was wrong, so any distraction from that is probably welcome.
Jeff still asks for prayer for a Christian friend. He says is starting to recognize faces, but one guy who reached out to him and whom Jeff liked was recently released. So, Jeff is still looking for a Christian friend. He asks for your continued prayers for that.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Jeff's first update
This is Jeff's first update. Before I type what Jeff has given me, I'll just update you on what Jeff is up to. His day begins at 6:30 for breakfast. He has a job picking up trash in the recreation area. I'm not sure if he does this in the morning or in the afternoon. At any rate, at 10:30 he eats lunch. He walks about 5 miles a day, I think he breaks this into a couple of walking sessions. He does not have athletic shoes in which to jog, yet. At 4:30 he eats dinner. He does not have any say in when he eats, that is how it works. Interspersed throughout the day are prisoner counts. There are no walls in the camp, so he is not bound by that, but the prisoners are not to go beyond a line.
He welcomes letters, and he says the weekends are very slow. Jeff wants to answer most of the recurring questions on the blog. Anyway, here is what he had to say on April 28.
I want to share with you my spiritual perspective of life in a federal prison camp. I've only been in this institution for 2 weeks, nonetheless, I think my initial experience relates to many of you who are looking for something different with regard to your spiritual growth. There is a fairly good sized church here (the camp has about 589 prisoners ; VCmoney's edit). Like most most churches I've attended, however, they don't do a very good job of welcoming new people. I'm not sure what the reason is. I continue to to attend every meeting possible (of which there are 5 a week). I go mainly for two reasons. First, I want to meet some people with whom I can share, pray, encourage, and, in turn, be encouraged. Second, I go to get some positive input. What I mean is that there is so much swearing, sexual innuendo, etc. that I just don't wnt to hear it anymore.
There have been some good messages. I'll share a few that impacted me. One of the first messages was on the commandments. The ??? commandment says you shall have no other idol before God. Now we all know that money, careers, homes, possessions, etc. can become idols. The speaker pointed out that our families can also be idols. In other words, we can put our families before God. I struggled with this long before I was sentenced to prison. I still do. I prayed that if God wanted me to serve Him in prison, I would accept that. However, I still have difficulty trusting God to take care of my family. I cannot trust the creator of the universe, a God who cares about a sparrow falling from a tree, a God who numbers the hairs on our head, to take care of my family. Oddly, though, I have seen him take care of my family in spite of my faith. This is obviously something of which I will have to let go.
Another profound messag, which I think applies to everyone, is that God has me here for a purpose. Many of the men here talk about the injustices that occurred to get them to a place like this. Some of the leaders in the church who have 15 year sentences or longer, realize that God is working. Even in the 2 weeks I've been here I can see how God is using this church to change lives in a drastic way.
I don't recall having a sense of purpose when I was working. I guess the purpose was to support my family. I often thought I was called to support missionaries. I didn't do much of that the last several years. I believe I persuaded myself that taking care of my family was all I had to do to serve God. Then my family became more important to me than God. I don't know what purpose I will have for God when I get out, but for now, I'm content to know God has a purpose for me. I pray that I would be worthy of the gospel and when he reveals that purpose I will be ready to serve.
Jeff
He welcomes letters, and he says the weekends are very slow. Jeff wants to answer most of the recurring questions on the blog. Anyway, here is what he had to say on April 28.
I want to share with you my spiritual perspective of life in a federal prison camp. I've only been in this institution for 2 weeks, nonetheless, I think my initial experience relates to many of you who are looking for something different with regard to your spiritual growth. There is a fairly good sized church here (the camp has about 589 prisoners ; VCmoney's edit). Like most most churches I've attended, however, they don't do a very good job of welcoming new people. I'm not sure what the reason is. I continue to to attend every meeting possible (of which there are 5 a week). I go mainly for two reasons. First, I want to meet some people with whom I can share, pray, encourage, and, in turn, be encouraged. Second, I go to get some positive input. What I mean is that there is so much swearing, sexual innuendo, etc. that I just don't wnt to hear it anymore.
There have been some good messages. I'll share a few that impacted me. One of the first messages was on the commandments. The ??? commandment says you shall have no other idol before God. Now we all know that money, careers, homes, possessions, etc. can become idols. The speaker pointed out that our families can also be idols. In other words, we can put our families before God. I struggled with this long before I was sentenced to prison. I still do. I prayed that if God wanted me to serve Him in prison, I would accept that. However, I still have difficulty trusting God to take care of my family. I cannot trust the creator of the universe, a God who cares about a sparrow falling from a tree, a God who numbers the hairs on our head, to take care of my family. Oddly, though, I have seen him take care of my family in spite of my faith. This is obviously something of which I will have to let go.
Another profound messag, which I think applies to everyone, is that God has me here for a purpose. Many of the men here talk about the injustices that occurred to get them to a place like this. Some of the leaders in the church who have 15 year sentences or longer, realize that God is working. Even in the 2 weeks I've been here I can see how God is using this church to change lives in a drastic way.
I don't recall having a sense of purpose when I was working. I guess the purpose was to support my family. I often thought I was called to support missionaries. I didn't do much of that the last several years. I believe I persuaded myself that taking care of my family was all I had to do to serve God. Then my family became more important to me than God. I don't know what purpose I will have for God when I get out, but for now, I'm content to know God has a purpose for me. I pray that I would be worthy of the gospel and when he reveals that purpose I will be ready to serve.
Jeff
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