Jeff has asked what kind of blogs his friends find the most interesting. If you could leave comments on this blog about which blogs you enjoyed most, or what you would like to read about Jeff in forthcoming blogs, he would appreciate it. He is not even sure who is reading. I'm not either, to be honest. I just post them.
I will copy the comments and send them to Jeff in a letter next week. Also, if you haven't written Jeff in a while, I would ask that you do. This will be his first Thanksgiving and Christmas away from his wife and kids. He could use all the letters, prayers, and encouragement he can get.
Thanks,
Scott
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Quarterly Update (#24)
Quarterly Update
October 13th marked my 6 month milestone at the Taft Federal Prison Camp. I will say that the last three months went by more quickly and more easily than the first three months. The first three months I would have say were highlighted by the soccer league and the exercise class of which I was a part. I lost about 20 pounds during the first three months.
Soccer ended in the middle of August and I re-injured my ankle in the last game. I had injured my ankle around Father’s Day, and then let it heal a bit before playing about 6 more games before injuring it again. At least it was the last game and I was able to rest. I wasn’t too concerned since the next league doesn’t start until mid-November. I’m not 100% yet, but I should be able to play when the league starts. That’s a nice distraction from the tedium of life here.
I started another 12 week exercise class in mid-September. This class has helped me lose another 5 pounds. I’m also able to do sit-ups, push-ups, and pull-ups at a rate I’ve never been able to do before. The class is very difficult. I actually puked after one class. Perhaps that will give you an idea of how this classes pushes our bodies to the limit. I would never challenge myself to this degree if working out on my own. The leader of the class is an ex-special forces guy. He designs cards (a piece of cardboard) with various exercises on them. He also names the cards. One card is named “Death.” It isn’t fun. A few other card names are “Hell,” “Pain,” and “Dirt Diver.” The objective of dirt diver is to leave the participant face down in the dirt after the workout. You know that you have arrived when you dip for a push-up and you can’t get back up. Just as an aside, I’m not the first or the last person to have lost their previous meal during one of these workouts.
The benefit to all of this working out is that I can now run 3 miles in about 22 minutes. I haven’t done that in years. I hope to get to a fitness point to what I was doing in college. That would be 4 miles in 30 minutes. I also hope to lose another 5 – 10 pounds and add more muscle.
With the onset of Fall, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by a better selection and the new Fall television shows. Each weekend we have 6 movies, 2 each night from Friday to Sunday. Friday night is usually the best movie and a new release. I did not watch many movies in the late Spring and Summer because not much comes out on DVD from late May through August. Finally, in Sept. we started seeing some better movies come to Taft. A good movie can really help your disposition. The new TV shows have provided a minor distraction during the week. I watch a show called “Chuck” on Monday nights. It makes me laugh. Laughs are not easy to find here. College and pro football have made it easier to get through Sat. and Sun. So, all in all, the days go by much more quickly than they used to during my first three months here. Of course, I still miss my family very much.
I started my marketing and advertising courses through Ohio U. in the past quarter. I probably started them right around the beginning of my second quarter here, in mid-July. The classes have helped fill time, but more importantly, have helped me prepare for my release. Most of what I will need to learn to be successful upon release I will have to learn and pay for on my own like these Ohio U. classes. As a side note, I have not taken a class at Taft that was taught by a staff person. So far, all of the classes offered here have been taught by other inmates. The slogan for the company that manages our camp is “Preparing offenders for reentry.” I find this ironic since the staff here hasn’t done one thing to prepare me for anything. Well, I should clarify, they have forced me to make my bed every morning by 8 am, so that is something that I can use upon release.
The other nice change these last 3 months has been the arrival of a good friend named Doug. We hit it off quickly. He’s a Christian guy who is doing a lot in the church here. It’s helpful to have someone with whom you can laugh or pray. We walk the track together a few nights a week and just share what’s on our minds. It’s nice to be able to trust someone here, and he has been an answer to prayer.
During the past three months I have missed my oldest son, Connor’s, birthday. That was more difficult than I thought it would be. I try to stay connected with him by including a drawing, activity sheet, or magazine picture for him with every letter I write home (that’s 3 a week). I think it works to some extent, but he told me during a visit after his birthday that he didn’t want anymore birthdays until I come home. That broke my heart. If also goes well, I should be able to be at home just in time for his 7th birthday.
I also missed my 7-year anniversary. I am thankful that I have an anniversary to miss. My wife is so supportive and dedicated to me. I’m lucky to have her and God has truly blessed me with Laura. It’s difficult to show love to your family in prison. One of the few ways is simply writing her. I do that as much as I can. I look forward to actually writing her because I know in a small way we are connecting and that our love and friendship is growing even during this separation.
The next three months will probably be the most difficult 3 months I will spend here. Please pray for me and my family as we go through the Holidays apart.
Jeff
October 13th marked my 6 month milestone at the Taft Federal Prison Camp. I will say that the last three months went by more quickly and more easily than the first three months. The first three months I would have say were highlighted by the soccer league and the exercise class of which I was a part. I lost about 20 pounds during the first three months.
Soccer ended in the middle of August and I re-injured my ankle in the last game. I had injured my ankle around Father’s Day, and then let it heal a bit before playing about 6 more games before injuring it again. At least it was the last game and I was able to rest. I wasn’t too concerned since the next league doesn’t start until mid-November. I’m not 100% yet, but I should be able to play when the league starts. That’s a nice distraction from the tedium of life here.
I started another 12 week exercise class in mid-September. This class has helped me lose another 5 pounds. I’m also able to do sit-ups, push-ups, and pull-ups at a rate I’ve never been able to do before. The class is very difficult. I actually puked after one class. Perhaps that will give you an idea of how this classes pushes our bodies to the limit. I would never challenge myself to this degree if working out on my own. The leader of the class is an ex-special forces guy. He designs cards (a piece of cardboard) with various exercises on them. He also names the cards. One card is named “Death.” It isn’t fun. A few other card names are “Hell,” “Pain,” and “Dirt Diver.” The objective of dirt diver is to leave the participant face down in the dirt after the workout. You know that you have arrived when you dip for a push-up and you can’t get back up. Just as an aside, I’m not the first or the last person to have lost their previous meal during one of these workouts.
The benefit to all of this working out is that I can now run 3 miles in about 22 minutes. I haven’t done that in years. I hope to get to a fitness point to what I was doing in college. That would be 4 miles in 30 minutes. I also hope to lose another 5 – 10 pounds and add more muscle.
With the onset of Fall, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by a better selection and the new Fall television shows. Each weekend we have 6 movies, 2 each night from Friday to Sunday. Friday night is usually the best movie and a new release. I did not watch many movies in the late Spring and Summer because not much comes out on DVD from late May through August. Finally, in Sept. we started seeing some better movies come to Taft. A good movie can really help your disposition. The new TV shows have provided a minor distraction during the week. I watch a show called “Chuck” on Monday nights. It makes me laugh. Laughs are not easy to find here. College and pro football have made it easier to get through Sat. and Sun. So, all in all, the days go by much more quickly than they used to during my first three months here. Of course, I still miss my family very much.
I started my marketing and advertising courses through Ohio U. in the past quarter. I probably started them right around the beginning of my second quarter here, in mid-July. The classes have helped fill time, but more importantly, have helped me prepare for my release. Most of what I will need to learn to be successful upon release I will have to learn and pay for on my own like these Ohio U. classes. As a side note, I have not taken a class at Taft that was taught by a staff person. So far, all of the classes offered here have been taught by other inmates. The slogan for the company that manages our camp is “Preparing offenders for reentry.” I find this ironic since the staff here hasn’t done one thing to prepare me for anything. Well, I should clarify, they have forced me to make my bed every morning by 8 am, so that is something that I can use upon release.
The other nice change these last 3 months has been the arrival of a good friend named Doug. We hit it off quickly. He’s a Christian guy who is doing a lot in the church here. It’s helpful to have someone with whom you can laugh or pray. We walk the track together a few nights a week and just share what’s on our minds. It’s nice to be able to trust someone here, and he has been an answer to prayer.
During the past three months I have missed my oldest son, Connor’s, birthday. That was more difficult than I thought it would be. I try to stay connected with him by including a drawing, activity sheet, or magazine picture for him with every letter I write home (that’s 3 a week). I think it works to some extent, but he told me during a visit after his birthday that he didn’t want anymore birthdays until I come home. That broke my heart. If also goes well, I should be able to be at home just in time for his 7th birthday.
I also missed my 7-year anniversary. I am thankful that I have an anniversary to miss. My wife is so supportive and dedicated to me. I’m lucky to have her and God has truly blessed me with Laura. It’s difficult to show love to your family in prison. One of the few ways is simply writing her. I do that as much as I can. I look forward to actually writing her because I know in a small way we are connecting and that our love and friendship is growing even during this separation.
The next three months will probably be the most difficult 3 months I will spend here. Please pray for me and my family as we go through the Holidays apart.
Jeff
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Serving God (#23)
I’m sure we’ve all heard the phrase “serve God where you are.” While it’s a great phrase, it doesn’t do much for me in a practical sense. How do you serve God where you work? I really don’t have the answer to that. My hope is that maybe through some shared experiences we can gain insight from each other.
A friend of mine sent me a letter recently. My friend is a teacher. She just started school where she was teaching a new grade and was given some challenging kids. She was stuck. The principal was not going to change. Oddly, her situation is similar to what how many inmates feel about prison. Someone else decides with whom you will live and creates a bunch of ambiguous and whimsical rules that seemingly are only there to annoy the inmates. (One of my favorite rules here is that we are only allowed to put “soiled” clothing in our laundry bags. Who would put clean clothes in there, who cares what kind of clothes we put in there, and who checks to make sure all the clothes are soiled?) My friend’s response to the arbitrary rules she faces is a great lesson about serving God where you are. She believes that God's purpose for her situation is to love the kids, teach them, and show them Christ.
I think this is what being a Christian is about, showing a bit of Christ wherever we are. Love people and show them who Christ is. Obviously, this is easier said that done. The perception of prison is that we all have done something wrong, so we deserve this punishment. I agree with this. Nobody here is innocent, at least not in a moral sense. The truth is God has decided that prison is where I should be with all its ridiculous rules and very little I can do to change things. And just like my friend in her situation where the principal is unyielding, I can either accept my situation and love the people here, or rebel and be angry about the injustice of it all. Unfortunately, I sometimes do both, but I’m slowly beginning to let go of the frustrations and anger and starting to look for and see where God is working here. This is me being a spiritual warrior or super-Christian. God broke me despite my stubbornness. It wasn’t hard, everyone here is hurting, and it’s clear that these people want someone to love them. So, as I began to yield to God, I was able to see where I could serve God here much more easily and that God has a purpose here for me. I have befriended a few non-believers here, some from soccer and another through tutoring. The last time I had almost an equal number of Christian and non-Christian friends was probably in college. As my teacher friend wrote about loving the kids, I too feel that God has called me to love these men. This is not where I want to be. But it is where God has me and I want to serve him.
So, if you are in a job that you hate, you might want to consider a different perspective. Why does God have you there? Think about the people around you. Who around you needs Christ’s love? I don’t think God wants us to evangelize everyone, but if you are honest with God and willing to submit yourself to him, I do believe that He will put in on your heart why he has you where you are and show you those whom you should seek to help.
Jeff
A friend of mine sent me a letter recently. My friend is a teacher. She just started school where she was teaching a new grade and was given some challenging kids. She was stuck. The principal was not going to change. Oddly, her situation is similar to what how many inmates feel about prison. Someone else decides with whom you will live and creates a bunch of ambiguous and whimsical rules that seemingly are only there to annoy the inmates. (One of my favorite rules here is that we are only allowed to put “soiled” clothing in our laundry bags. Who would put clean clothes in there, who cares what kind of clothes we put in there, and who checks to make sure all the clothes are soiled?) My friend’s response to the arbitrary rules she faces is a great lesson about serving God where you are. She believes that God's purpose for her situation is to love the kids, teach them, and show them Christ.
I think this is what being a Christian is about, showing a bit of Christ wherever we are. Love people and show them who Christ is. Obviously, this is easier said that done. The perception of prison is that we all have done something wrong, so we deserve this punishment. I agree with this. Nobody here is innocent, at least not in a moral sense. The truth is God has decided that prison is where I should be with all its ridiculous rules and very little I can do to change things. And just like my friend in her situation where the principal is unyielding, I can either accept my situation and love the people here, or rebel and be angry about the injustice of it all. Unfortunately, I sometimes do both, but I’m slowly beginning to let go of the frustrations and anger and starting to look for and see where God is working here. This is me being a spiritual warrior or super-Christian. God broke me despite my stubbornness. It wasn’t hard, everyone here is hurting, and it’s clear that these people want someone to love them. So, as I began to yield to God, I was able to see where I could serve God here much more easily and that God has a purpose here for me. I have befriended a few non-believers here, some from soccer and another through tutoring. The last time I had almost an equal number of Christian and non-Christian friends was probably in college. As my teacher friend wrote about loving the kids, I too feel that God has called me to love these men. This is not where I want to be. But it is where God has me and I want to serve him.
So, if you are in a job that you hate, you might want to consider a different perspective. Why does God have you there? Think about the people around you. Who around you needs Christ’s love? I don’t think God wants us to evangelize everyone, but if you are honest with God and willing to submit yourself to him, I do believe that He will put in on your heart why he has you where you are and show you those whom you should seek to help.
Jeff
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Tithing (#22)
A guy I know approached me with a question about tithing. He had talked to a friend who had told him that he should tithe 10% to a church. This friend also told him that he should just trust the church in how it used the money. He was confused. As he relayed this story to me, he felt angry that the church wanted this money when he was giving to organizations that helped starving kids in Africa. The question this guy asked was whether it was wrong for him to tithe outside of church. Maybe you have had someone ask you a similar question or have been thinking about tithing. What makes this situation strange is that the guy who was asking me about this is not a Christian and was asking about tithing in prison.
My current job in prison is to check out recreation equipment to other inmates. It’s very similar to the job I had at the YMCA when I was 17. However, as an inmate, I get paid about $0.36 per hour. This non-Christian acquaintance works in the kitchen in the mornings. He puts milk in the milk dispensers. He gets paid the same amount that I do, which, for the record, is about $13 per month. Yet, he is seriously asking me about tithing 10% of this. Perhaps in prison is the best place to figure this out. I don’t know, but he sure was serious about getting an answer.
When I was on the “outside” I used to take my pay and roughly allocate it 10% to tithing. If I budgeted well, I could pay my mortgage, buy food, pay off the cars and have some savings and entertainment money. If I did that same calculation in prison (I have no mortgage, and a very limited need for money for food) I would need to borrow money just to make phone calls and pay for postage to send letters to family and friends. Never mind the occasional soda, shoes, and various things like paper, pencils, and toiletries I have to purchase. In fact, $13 would barely cover my toiletries for the month. Many inmates do not have a source of income from the “outside” to help them pay for phone calls, etc. They are dependent on friends and family (as I am) to send us extra money. My extra money goes to for phone calls and writing. I estimate that I spend $50 per month on keeping in touch with my family and friends. It’s about the best $50 I can spend in this place. But, my view of tithing has changed because of this 6 months I have been in prison.
Tithing in prison is, well, a violation of the rules of the bureau of prisons. You are not permitted to give anything of value to another inmate. This extends to families so having my wife send money to another inmate’s wife to give to her inmate husband is a violation of the rules. This does happen, but if caught, it will get one a trip to the “hole,” the segregated housing unit and other disciplinary actions. You may ask, “what?” The purpose is to prevent extortion, a legitimate concern in prison. Of course, extortion is very limited if it exists at all at a prison camp. But, guys do make bets and lose and need money to pay off the debt. My church here thought we had found a way around this rule. We created a tithing box administered by the chaplain. The box was locked, and only the chapel clerks (4 inmates) and the chaplain could get into the box. The rationale was that inmates were giving to the chaplain and the chaplain was giving the stuff to inmates. It was totally anonymous, to prevent extortion. However, the prison admin stopped the tithing box practice. The reality is that we still tithe. We just do so within our dorms. It’s a violation of the rules, but most of the guards don’t mind a guy giving a toothbrush, deodorant, a pencil, etc away to other inmates, which the Christians here like to do.
This may sound very giving and spiritual. But, there’s a problem. The non-Christians do a better job at it than the Christians do. Many guys come in and by the end of their second day they have shorts, running shoes, and sometimes radios. It took me four days to get underwear, pants, and a t-shirt. I had 1 set of clothes for 95 hours. I did get shower sandals and a soap dish from the tithe box. This was before the prison removed the box. The non-Christians, for the most part, give the stuff to get things in return, like favors (job assignments, bunks, etc), food, and various other amenities., and so they don’t generally give unconditionally, but sometimes they do, especially with little things like a toothbrush. I try to make sure new people have stuff, but generally, I don’t feel so bad for most of the guys. As far as getting stuff is concerned, most come in much better off than I was.
I try to take a certain approach with the new people rather than just giving them stuff. Most of these men have been torn away from their families, sometimes with little notice of when they need to report. They are alone in a mass of strange people and mannerisms. It’s a surreal experience, and one is really no more than an object, not a person. The staff generally view all criminals alike, as murderers. I have yet to meet a murderer in the camp, and murders, unless one tries to kill a government official is not a federal crime, but a state crime. So, they wouldn’t be in federal prison anyway. At any rate, the guards lump all the men together regardless of crime, race, or any other differentiation factor. Now you are just a felon. The other inmates don’t care either. You are just a new guy with blue canvas shoes and a t-shirt that doesn’t fit. If you are lucky, a Bunkie will help you out, but they may not become a friend. I’ve read that you can never really have a friend in prison (and perhaps you don’t want to make friends, I don’t know), and for the most part, this is true. But, I am finding that it is not always the case. Granted, most guys I meet, I probably wont’ talk to again (there are a lot of people here, and they are always changing). However, I believe this is because no one takes the risk to truly become a friend in the first place. I would like to change that perception.
The first thing I offer to new people is something like socks. I make sure to mention that there are no strings attached. As I said, many guys give conditionally, they say that there are no strings attached only to come back a few weeks later asking for something. I also try to introduce the new inmates to the people I already know. I don’t care where you are, if someone remembers your name the next day after you meet them, you feel like a person, not just chattel. I want the new people to get connected as quickly as possible. I view the giving away of socks as a tithe. I think it has a more personal affect than getting socks out of a tithing box. I want the new people to know that other inmates care, but I do want to new people to know who we are. They need to know that they can go to someone if they have a need. I think that is the beginning of outreach.
To go back to the guy who came to me with the question about tithing, we can see that I did not tithe to a church, or for the pastor to get a salary or whatever. My answer to the guy has nothing to do, however, with how the church will spend the money. Rather, my issue is that I want to see the affect of the tithe, what is it doing to build God’s kingdom. I enjoy seeing how God uses what we give back to him. I’m finding that watching how God uses what I offer him and seeing the impact on others is a very rewarding spiritual experience.
There is a passage in Luke 16 that mirrors what I’m saying about tithing (or giving). The passage is a parable, a difficult one at that. However, don’t get bogged down by it. The explanation appears to be summed up in verse 9 – Jesus saying, “I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.” Note what it doesn’t say – there is nothing about saving for retirement, a bigger home, your kids’ education, etc. No, it’s about using wealth to build something eternal, that is, relationships. Jesus says use wealth to build the kingdom God, and you will be welcomed in heaven. Why should we spend our money on others rather than ourselves, well, verse 13 says because you cannot love both God and money.
Jeff
My current job in prison is to check out recreation equipment to other inmates. It’s very similar to the job I had at the YMCA when I was 17. However, as an inmate, I get paid about $0.36 per hour. This non-Christian acquaintance works in the kitchen in the mornings. He puts milk in the milk dispensers. He gets paid the same amount that I do, which, for the record, is about $13 per month. Yet, he is seriously asking me about tithing 10% of this. Perhaps in prison is the best place to figure this out. I don’t know, but he sure was serious about getting an answer.
When I was on the “outside” I used to take my pay and roughly allocate it 10% to tithing. If I budgeted well, I could pay my mortgage, buy food, pay off the cars and have some savings and entertainment money. If I did that same calculation in prison (I have no mortgage, and a very limited need for money for food) I would need to borrow money just to make phone calls and pay for postage to send letters to family and friends. Never mind the occasional soda, shoes, and various things like paper, pencils, and toiletries I have to purchase. In fact, $13 would barely cover my toiletries for the month. Many inmates do not have a source of income from the “outside” to help them pay for phone calls, etc. They are dependent on friends and family (as I am) to send us extra money. My extra money goes to for phone calls and writing. I estimate that I spend $50 per month on keeping in touch with my family and friends. It’s about the best $50 I can spend in this place. But, my view of tithing has changed because of this 6 months I have been in prison.
Tithing in prison is, well, a violation of the rules of the bureau of prisons. You are not permitted to give anything of value to another inmate. This extends to families so having my wife send money to another inmate’s wife to give to her inmate husband is a violation of the rules. This does happen, but if caught, it will get one a trip to the “hole,” the segregated housing unit and other disciplinary actions. You may ask, “what?” The purpose is to prevent extortion, a legitimate concern in prison. Of course, extortion is very limited if it exists at all at a prison camp. But, guys do make bets and lose and need money to pay off the debt. My church here thought we had found a way around this rule. We created a tithing box administered by the chaplain. The box was locked, and only the chapel clerks (4 inmates) and the chaplain could get into the box. The rationale was that inmates were giving to the chaplain and the chaplain was giving the stuff to inmates. It was totally anonymous, to prevent extortion. However, the prison admin stopped the tithing box practice. The reality is that we still tithe. We just do so within our dorms. It’s a violation of the rules, but most of the guards don’t mind a guy giving a toothbrush, deodorant, a pencil, etc away to other inmates, which the Christians here like to do.
This may sound very giving and spiritual. But, there’s a problem. The non-Christians do a better job at it than the Christians do. Many guys come in and by the end of their second day they have shorts, running shoes, and sometimes radios. It took me four days to get underwear, pants, and a t-shirt. I had 1 set of clothes for 95 hours. I did get shower sandals and a soap dish from the tithe box. This was before the prison removed the box. The non-Christians, for the most part, give the stuff to get things in return, like favors (job assignments, bunks, etc), food, and various other amenities., and so they don’t generally give unconditionally, but sometimes they do, especially with little things like a toothbrush. I try to make sure new people have stuff, but generally, I don’t feel so bad for most of the guys. As far as getting stuff is concerned, most come in much better off than I was.
I try to take a certain approach with the new people rather than just giving them stuff. Most of these men have been torn away from their families, sometimes with little notice of when they need to report. They are alone in a mass of strange people and mannerisms. It’s a surreal experience, and one is really no more than an object, not a person. The staff generally view all criminals alike, as murderers. I have yet to meet a murderer in the camp, and murders, unless one tries to kill a government official is not a federal crime, but a state crime. So, they wouldn’t be in federal prison anyway. At any rate, the guards lump all the men together regardless of crime, race, or any other differentiation factor. Now you are just a felon. The other inmates don’t care either. You are just a new guy with blue canvas shoes and a t-shirt that doesn’t fit. If you are lucky, a Bunkie will help you out, but they may not become a friend. I’ve read that you can never really have a friend in prison (and perhaps you don’t want to make friends, I don’t know), and for the most part, this is true. But, I am finding that it is not always the case. Granted, most guys I meet, I probably wont’ talk to again (there are a lot of people here, and they are always changing). However, I believe this is because no one takes the risk to truly become a friend in the first place. I would like to change that perception.
The first thing I offer to new people is something like socks. I make sure to mention that there are no strings attached. As I said, many guys give conditionally, they say that there are no strings attached only to come back a few weeks later asking for something. I also try to introduce the new inmates to the people I already know. I don’t care where you are, if someone remembers your name the next day after you meet them, you feel like a person, not just chattel. I want the new people to get connected as quickly as possible. I view the giving away of socks as a tithe. I think it has a more personal affect than getting socks out of a tithing box. I want the new people to know that other inmates care, but I do want to new people to know who we are. They need to know that they can go to someone if they have a need. I think that is the beginning of outreach.
To go back to the guy who came to me with the question about tithing, we can see that I did not tithe to a church, or for the pastor to get a salary or whatever. My answer to the guy has nothing to do, however, with how the church will spend the money. Rather, my issue is that I want to see the affect of the tithe, what is it doing to build God’s kingdom. I enjoy seeing how God uses what we give back to him. I’m finding that watching how God uses what I offer him and seeing the impact on others is a very rewarding spiritual experience.
There is a passage in Luke 16 that mirrors what I’m saying about tithing (or giving). The passage is a parable, a difficult one at that. However, don’t get bogged down by it. The explanation appears to be summed up in verse 9 – Jesus saying, “I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.” Note what it doesn’t say – there is nothing about saving for retirement, a bigger home, your kids’ education, etc. No, it’s about using wealth to build something eternal, that is, relationships. Jesus says use wealth to build the kingdom God, and you will be welcomed in heaven. Why should we spend our money on others rather than ourselves, well, verse 13 says because you cannot love both God and money.
Jeff
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Mother Teresa (#21)
Recently Time magazine had an article about Mother Teresa (I couldn't find the link - Scott). The article commented on numerous letters that Mother Teresa wrote in which she says she does not feel the presence of God. Of course, this makes for much anti-God sentiment. Despite the fact that I immensely dislike Time magazine, the article was not too one-sided. However, I found the most relevant and truthful information on the last page. It was on the last page that I read about how all Christians have experienced doubt and as a result, questioned God's presence. It's during those times that we see how to respond to God. As Mother Teresa wrote, "If this brings you glory - if souls are brought to you - with joy I accept all to the end of my life."
Oddly, Mother Teresa's situation is not unlike how many Christians in prions feel every day. while my time served will be 28-29 months, I do know how feels to be in the dark. Our pastor here, Mike Savage, spoke on spiritual winters (which I wrote about before). Mike was in prison for 16 years. I know he went years without feeling God's presence. However, like Mother Teresa, he continued to minister to the lost men he encountered daily. He lived with them, ate with them, socialized with them, and in some cases, helped them come to know Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord.
Prison, of course, is not like the streets of India. WE have food and a place to sleep. In some prisons you may encounter violence, but not in a camp. Nonetheless, it is a place where many men come without hope. For those of us who know the Lord, we are asked to share that hope, to accept all with joy if souls are added to the kingdom. I pray every morning the simplest of prayers: Jesus, I'm here to serve you. I don't always feel Jesus next to me, or close to me. I get angry and the injustice of this place and I grieve deeply over not being with my family. However, I continue to trust and to serve because this is where God has me.
There is one aspect of Mother Teresa's life that this article largely overlooks. It ignores the impact that Mother Teresa had on other people's lives. There is one part in the article where a reporter goes to India to do a story on Mother Teresa. He later accepts Christ. I think he experienced God's love through Mother Teresa. I'm sure that there are many people who have experienced God's love, mercy, kindness, and grace through Mother Teresa.
I know that here at Taft there are a number of men who have felt and experienced God's love because of a Christian who was simply obeying God. I hope that when I leave, regardless of how dark the time may have been for me, that Jesus says, "well done my faithful servant."
Jeff
Oddly, Mother Teresa's situation is not unlike how many Christians in prions feel every day. while my time served will be 28-29 months, I do know how feels to be in the dark. Our pastor here, Mike Savage, spoke on spiritual winters (which I wrote about before). Mike was in prison for 16 years. I know he went years without feeling God's presence. However, like Mother Teresa, he continued to minister to the lost men he encountered daily. He lived with them, ate with them, socialized with them, and in some cases, helped them come to know Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord.
Prison, of course, is not like the streets of India. WE have food and a place to sleep. In some prisons you may encounter violence, but not in a camp. Nonetheless, it is a place where many men come without hope. For those of us who know the Lord, we are asked to share that hope, to accept all with joy if souls are added to the kingdom. I pray every morning the simplest of prayers: Jesus, I'm here to serve you. I don't always feel Jesus next to me, or close to me. I get angry and the injustice of this place and I grieve deeply over not being with my family. However, I continue to trust and to serve because this is where God has me.
There is one aspect of Mother Teresa's life that this article largely overlooks. It ignores the impact that Mother Teresa had on other people's lives. There is one part in the article where a reporter goes to India to do a story on Mother Teresa. He later accepts Christ. I think he experienced God's love through Mother Teresa. I'm sure that there are many people who have experienced God's love, mercy, kindness, and grace through Mother Teresa.
I know that here at Taft there are a number of men who have felt and experienced God's love because of a Christian who was simply obeying God. I hope that when I leave, regardless of how dark the time may have been for me, that Jesus says, "well done my faithful servant."
Jeff
Monday, October 8, 2007
A Typical Day - Part 1 (#20)
In one of my earliest blogs I described the camp. I thought I would share about a typical day in the camp as it is very different from my life before entering the camp.
I wake up around 6 am every day (weekends included). I know it is 6 am because about 10 different watch alarms beep in the various cubicles that surround me. I get out of bed and get ready for work. Unlike work on the outside, I don't take a shower before my job. I do, however, put on pants and boots as required by the staff. I also make my bed before I go to work, which I'm sure will become a habit I can't stop when I'm released. I know my wife will appreciate that. I then proceed to my job. At the moment, my job is checking out recreation equipment to other inmates. I work from 6:30 to 9 am. Usually I am relieved by the guy who works after me by 8 am. It's a good job mainly because I write a letter during that time. Most jobs would not avail me the opportunity to write or read while working. So, this job is good for that. It would be a lot like emailing at a regular job, but I only get paid $.12 and hour and I only work for 1 1/2 hours a day.
After work I exercise. Sometimes this is walking the track and sometimes I'm doing an exercise class. I usually walk after the class no matter what. This walking time is also my prayer time. I enjoy this time to think and pray about my family and friends. This helps me stay focused on God in spite of the monotony of prison life. At about 9:45 am I will shower and get ready for lunch. We get counted at 10:30. This is a standing count. For some odd reason they make all inmates stand while they count us. Believe me when I say this requirement does nothing to improve the guards' ability to count. The first day I arrived I was with 2 other guys in a sound proof cell waiting to get placed in the camp. It was 4 pm, the other standing count during the day, and the guards were yelling at us to stand. Of course, being our first day and being in a sound proof cell, we had no idea what they wanted. I twas comical watching them get more and more irritated because we did not stand. As a general rule you don't want to make a guard ask you twice to do something. For some reason, these guards could not determine the obvious and after a few minutes I figured out they wanted us to stand up. That was my first, but not last, standing count incident.
After the 10:30 am count we are released for lunch. The strange thing about eating is that you are encouraged to eat quickly. In fact, you are given 15 minutes to eat. Normally this does not pose a problem because the food is not great and you don't get much. It does train one to eat fast (my wife will not appreciate my quick eating habit when I'm released). You learn certain table manners that the outside world doesn't practice. You must ask the other 3 guys before you grab the salt or pepper. So, rather than say, "please pass the salt," you would say, "may I have the salt, please?" Then, when finished, before leaving the table, you are supposed to knock on the table twice. I've dropped this practice by simply saying, "have a good evening or day." I don't know if anyone cares, but I like talking to them, rather than using knocks. It seems more personable. I usually eat with people I know anyway.
After lunch I have some free time. I usually go spend this time reading or writing. If I'm reading, then I'm reading my marketing textbook or some fictional novel. If I'm writing, it's either homework or letters. I will sometimes draw pictures or cut out magazine pictures for my kids at this time. I'll give the typical day for the afternoon and evening in a later blog.
Jeff
I wake up around 6 am every day (weekends included). I know it is 6 am because about 10 different watch alarms beep in the various cubicles that surround me. I get out of bed and get ready for work. Unlike work on the outside, I don't take a shower before my job. I do, however, put on pants and boots as required by the staff. I also make my bed before I go to work, which I'm sure will become a habit I can't stop when I'm released. I know my wife will appreciate that. I then proceed to my job. At the moment, my job is checking out recreation equipment to other inmates. I work from 6:30 to 9 am. Usually I am relieved by the guy who works after me by 8 am. It's a good job mainly because I write a letter during that time. Most jobs would not avail me the opportunity to write or read while working. So, this job is good for that. It would be a lot like emailing at a regular job, but I only get paid $.12 and hour and I only work for 1 1/2 hours a day.
After work I exercise. Sometimes this is walking the track and sometimes I'm doing an exercise class. I usually walk after the class no matter what. This walking time is also my prayer time. I enjoy this time to think and pray about my family and friends. This helps me stay focused on God in spite of the monotony of prison life. At about 9:45 am I will shower and get ready for lunch. We get counted at 10:30. This is a standing count. For some odd reason they make all inmates stand while they count us. Believe me when I say this requirement does nothing to improve the guards' ability to count. The first day I arrived I was with 2 other guys in a sound proof cell waiting to get placed in the camp. It was 4 pm, the other standing count during the day, and the guards were yelling at us to stand. Of course, being our first day and being in a sound proof cell, we had no idea what they wanted. I twas comical watching them get more and more irritated because we did not stand. As a general rule you don't want to make a guard ask you twice to do something. For some reason, these guards could not determine the obvious and after a few minutes I figured out they wanted us to stand up. That was my first, but not last, standing count incident.
After the 10:30 am count we are released for lunch. The strange thing about eating is that you are encouraged to eat quickly. In fact, you are given 15 minutes to eat. Normally this does not pose a problem because the food is not great and you don't get much. It does train one to eat fast (my wife will not appreciate my quick eating habit when I'm released). You learn certain table manners that the outside world doesn't practice. You must ask the other 3 guys before you grab the salt or pepper. So, rather than say, "please pass the salt," you would say, "may I have the salt, please?" Then, when finished, before leaving the table, you are supposed to knock on the table twice. I've dropped this practice by simply saying, "have a good evening or day." I don't know if anyone cares, but I like talking to them, rather than using knocks. It seems more personable. I usually eat with people I know anyway.
After lunch I have some free time. I usually go spend this time reading or writing. If I'm reading, then I'm reading my marketing textbook or some fictional novel. If I'm writing, it's either homework or letters. I will sometimes draw pictures or cut out magazine pictures for my kids at this time. I'll give the typical day for the afternoon and evening in a later blog.
Jeff
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