Nicknames (#26)

Sorry I haven't posted a blog entry for Jeff in almost a month. November has been a busy month, and Jeff has been preoccupied doing projects for his kids and wife. We traveled to CA for Thanksgiving, and the week was difficult because of the passing of my step-mother. I consider myself close to my step-brother Todd, who is similar to my age, and of course my dad. My heart was sad for them. It was a hard week for my whole family.

I don't know how many blogs Jeff will write over the course of the next month. This one is from about 3 weeks ago, and I have not received anything new from him recently. On to the blog.

I have a prison nickname. I am called Beckham by most of the inmates. In fact, few of them know my real name. Beckham is the name of an English soccer player who know plays for the LA Galaxy (US) and gets paid about $50 million per year to do so. He’s also married to Posh Spice. How did I get this nickname? It started about a month after I arrived in the Camp. I noticed some guys playing soccer, but I didn't play when I first arrived because I didn't have any shoes. It would be hard to play soccer with blue canvas shoes or steel toed boots. So, I finally got some tennis shoes around late May and as I was walking the track with a baseball cap on, I saw a guy from my dorm who was playing soccer. I asked him if I could play. So, there I was, the only white guy among 20 Latino guys. They were just about to pick teams, just like elementary school with 3 captains picking teams. Predictably I, with my baseball cap on and my glasses (so I can see) donned, was picked last.

Around this time, I weighted about 175 pounds. Not exactly fit, but better than when I arrived. Still, for soccer standards, I was out of shape. But, I played pretty well that first day. Because the guys with whom I was playing didn't know my name, they started calling me Beckham. After all, he is the only white soccer player they know. The nickname stuck and transcended to my dorm and other classes. In many respects I’m lucky because most of the nicknames given are not complimentary.

Most of the nicknames given here come from sports. How good (or bad) one is at a particular sport generally dictates the nickname, coupled with some physical attribute. One of the first guys I met is nicknamed “slow motion.” I didn't quite get that until I saw him play. He’s not very fast. It’s that obvious. Another older guy who plays soccer is nicknamed “pops.” I actually find myself calling him that too. My friend, Doug, got his nickname from his various features and activities. One should understand a little bit about Doug. He, like most guys who arrive, is a little overweight. He’s also an elder at the church here and a nice guy in general. He plays softball here, and the guys out there gave him the ironic nickname of “family guy.” This is from the television show, and the guy is irreverent is sarcastic. Doug is not.

Some other nicknames are gang names. I don’t know much about this culture or how they got these names. I asked a guy once how he got the nickname “gizmo” and he said he’s always had it, as if his parents called him that since birth because his birth name was too long or something. At the time, I didn't realize that this was a gang given name. I don’t know for sure, but I think these are some other gang names that I have come across: “weasel,” “bones,” and “rascal.” I can’t always tell a gang name from a regular nickname. There’s another guy they call “parrot.” I asked him how he got that name (I asked a lot of dumb questions when I first got here, and I guess the new guys can get away with it for a while). He told me he used to have a parrot. I have no idea what to make of that.

One of the better names is “machine gun.” This guy is a retired fire chief. Our media makes these guys look like heroes (which many of them are). However, our judicial system could care less. This guy is in for having an unregistered machine gun. So much for the 2nd amendment. This is strange because while a state may infringe on this right, this guy is in a Federal prison camp, so he must have violated federal law. I can’t figure out how, since the 2nd amendment applies to federal laws, and states that the right to bear arms will not be infringed. I digress, but it would appear that our government has a different copy of the Constitution than “machine gun” has. Anyway, his nickname is great.

Then there are nicknames that are sarcastic. They appear like a compliment but are not and are jokes about the person. There is a guy who was a mayor of a city. He condescends to just about everyone and acts as though he is above the whole system. I don’t think he realizes how he is viewed. Everyone calls him “mayor.” He probably thinks it’s a compliment, but it’s not.

Another guy here likes to tell people how they should work out. He thinks he’s totally built and he likes to flex his muscles in mirrors and anything that will provide a reflection (really, I’m not making this stuff up). He is called the “professor” and it’s not because he’s smart. He’s the professor of working out, but no one respects his help.

Older guys seem to get bad names. One guy would wander around and kill flies. He’s about 80 years old. We started calling him “death.” One reason for that was he killed a lot of flies, but also when he wears his dark jacket, he looks like the grim reaper. Another older guy is called “papa smurf.” I guess he doesn't mind so much, but he does look like papa smurf. It’s part of the culture.

For me, I hope that my nickname is positive aspect that allows me to relate cross culturally to the men here. I want to be able talk to these guys and be trusted by them, and I hope that my soccer skills will help. I always hoped that soccer would open doors for me to evangelize, but it didn't really turn out that way over the years. I hope that my nickname reflects an acceptance in the little soccer community here that allows me to be a witness to these men who I otherwise probably wouldn't know.

Jeff