"When we experience great fear . . ."

“When we experience great fear we attempt to exercise control over the situation no matter the negative consequences”

In my previous blog, I talked about how we sometimes act irrationally because of anger or depression. I wanted to follow up on that with a quote from a t.v. show on fox called “lie to me”. The show is about a couple of body language analysts who solve crimes or other problems by assessing whether or not suspects are lying during interrogations or interviews. In the first episode, the main character, played by Tom Roth, said something to the effect: “When we experience great feat we attempt to exercise control over the situation no matter the negative consequences.” I’m paraphrasing because I had to attempt to remember the quote before I wrote it down.

The quote supports my previous blog and adds another emotion that causes us to act irrationally. Some people might equate great fear or great sorrow with depression. Fear and anger can cause us to act in ways that most of us would say is out of our character. In my previous blog, the question was posed: “Why did you do this?” I didn’t have an answer although I believe many people are here because fear, anger or depression led them to do things without considering the consequences. I’m not going to say this is an excuse. What we all need to learn is how do I avoid the pitfalls of bad decisions because of anger or fear.

My suggestion to this is to surround yourself with friends who will challenge you and confront you if you are going down the wrong path. Having friends who are willing to do this and having the humility to allow them to do this is where personal life changes take place. Being humble enough to share your thoughts and decisions with these friends is a big step towards avoiding problems in the future. The problems may not necessarily be criminal either.

If you are married you should start by being open and honest with your wife. I wasn’t and I should have been. I admit it’s difficult being totally honest with my wife. We have had some serious arguments. However, I know our relationship grows stronger through the struggles. I certainly understand my wife better than I used to.

I’m also fortunate to have some Christian friends. I look back at my decision making that led me to prison and I found that I did not have a good friend with whom I could seek advise and counsel. I can also look at the times in my life when I did make good decisions and those times usually coincided with times I did share with friends and did accept their advice.

One of the things I wrote a long time ago in my blog was that the best way to get through you time here is to find a friend. I would also say that’s also true outside of here. Find a friend. Start with your spouse.