Humility & Trust (#7)

Before I get to Jeff's latest blog entry, I wanted to share my recent phone conversation with Jeff's wife, Laura. I asked her what I could be praying about for her. She said she just needs help. So, I would ask that anyone who lives near Laura to help her by watching her kids for an hour or two so that Laura can get groceries or run errands or just go have some alone time. I think that would be very rewarding for her. Now onto the blog.



I am starting to see some of God's purpose in the ordeal. I know that this is a growing period for me. The first part of my learning process actually started long before I was sentenced. I had been praying that if God wanted me to go to prison, I would go. I kept asking God, "what about my family." I am slowly learning to trust the Creator of the universe to take care of my family. I'm slowly learning to simply trust. Trust that God has a purpose for me here and trust that God will take care of my family.



After being here, I have to say I'm also learning humility. While a prison camp has no real safety issues, one of the few ways you can have issues is with pride. If you think you are better than people, you will find problems. Demanding respect is futile. There is a more subtle aspect to humility though. This is probably true even in situations on the "outside." There are situations every day where being humble, being willing to be wrong, being willing to accept someone making fun of you, being willing to be different from the "norm" or the willingness to accept wrongs against you, demonstrates humility. Most people would call this weakness. I'll tell you that I'm surrounded by people who lie, cheat, and take advantage of you, but they notice true humility anyway. Yes, sometimes people will take advantage of that. I've been cheated on buying tennis shoes. But for every time I've been cheated, I've been given things because other people saw my humility and integrity. More than what I get in return is the example I set. Poeple know here if you go to church. Like Christians on the outside, Christians here are under a microscope too (perhaps even more so).

I'm also learning compassion. You know pjeople are hurting here. However, mnay guys cover itup by keeping busy or by just being "a man." I took my wife's advice and I make every effort to talk to people. Sometimes it's superficial, but when I say I'm afraid, scared, or sad, I find there are guys who are hurting. They are searching. At that point compassion becomes the simple act of listening. When you remember a conversation when a guy has opened up and you ask him about it, you have taken a huge step in showing that you care. You have to remember or understand that to many of these men, nobody cares. The justice system has let them down. Many have unsupportive families. The staff here for the most part doesn't care (although I did find a counselor in another dorm who did). They are alone. When you show them you care, you can tell them that God cares, but you have to show true compassion first.

There are a few guys here for whom I would like you to pray. I'm only going to talk about one of them. He has been an answer to prayer. I had asked God for a friend. Someone who was like-minded spiritually. God answered with a man named Tim. Tim is a guy who seemed alone. H went to all the church stuff like I did. It took a few weeks but after I learned his name, I felt God urging me to ask him if he wanted to pray once a week. He gladly accepted. We've me twice. I find it a very rewarding experience. We share about out joys and fears about situations we faced during the week and about the messages at church. It's been a great time and one I look frward to each week. I'll share about some of the other guys next time.

Jeff